We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
My mom seriously just told me my insurance company pays for rehab. In an email. I expect a real, not just us joking, intervention coming on. I'm not accepting a "lunch date" with that bitch.
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
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I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
soo... how was my night?
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
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