Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(815): View more from Illinois

wat bout pragnant strippers??

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(815)wat bout pragnant strippers?? http://tfl.nu/yg4y

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(404): View more from Georgia

FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night

(1-404): View more from Georgia

haha good one..how did you even know?

(404): View more from Georgia

we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.

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(404): FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night (1-404): haha good one..how did you even know? (404): we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck. http://tfl.nu/dmh7

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(813): View more from Florida

i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa

(404): View more from Georgia

sure if you go to prison

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(813): i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa (404): sure if you go to prison http://tfl.nu/yad5

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(617): View more from Massachusetts

I just found out I have a small penis.

(781): View more from Massachusetts

Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend?

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(617): I just found out I have a small penis. (781): Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend? http://tfl.nu/6gqe

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(609): View more from New Jersey

no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.

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(609): no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical. http://tfl.nu/1fef

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(623): View more from Arizona

highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...

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(623): highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume... http://tfl.nu/i7v6

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(210): View more from Texas

I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.

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(210): I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper. http://tfl.nu/rcv4

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(919): View more from North Carolina

It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.

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(919): It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis. http://tfl.nu/c5pc

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(815): View more from Illinois

I'm worried I'm going to miss my flight so I set a series of alarms on my phone to act as checkpoints to make sure I'll be there. 2am-stop drinking; 4am-stop fucking stephanie, get some sleep; 5am-wake up, fuck stephanie once more; 6am-get to the airport

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(815): I'm worried I'm going to miss my flight so I set a series of alarms on my phone to act as checkpoints to make sure I'll be there. 2am-stop drinking; 4am-stop fucking stephanie, get some sleep; 5am-wake up, fuck stephanie once more; 6am-get to the airport http://tfl.nu/v33c

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(301): View more from Maryland

Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes

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(301): Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes http://tfl.nu/frgb

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(416): View more from Toronto

All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.

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(416): All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out. http://tfl.nu/i1g0

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(404): View more from Georgia

He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.

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(404): He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday. http://tfl.nu/mk6n

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(509): View more from Washington

you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.

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(509): you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever. http://tfl.nu/fzjz

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(941): View more from Florida

You know i'm the father figure

(1-941): View more from Florida

Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad

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(941): You know i'm the father figure (1-941): Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad http://tfl.nu/6iwj

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(613): View more from Ontario

Her only article of clothing is an American Flag

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(613): Her only article of clothing is an American Flag http://tfl.nu/tlj8

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