Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
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