Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
Doctor took one look at my penis and said, 'you don't have herpes, you just masturbate too much'
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves
That's not technology. Doesn't count.
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Look, opening a Guinness with a steak knife and nearly cutting your finger off to make another carbomb is always a good idea.
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
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