the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
I may have told her we're dating for a handjob, Fake tits are overrated.
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
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