Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
It's technically 2016 but since I haven't gone to bed I'm still counting it as 2015, so I'm gonna drink all the alcohol in my house so tomorrow I can become the better version of myself that I'll be for 5 minutes.
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
Randomize