i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ugh. I'm going to die alone, sister. Half-eaten by one of my thirty-seven cats and clutching a martini shaker
So here's a brief summary of my weekend: last night I drank four glasses of Death Punch, grabbed the toaster, said "This is mine", put it in my pants and walked out the front door.
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
I look forward to getting really drunk tonight and startling some rando’s mother tomorrow morning while she’s up early making a turkey
It’s a holiday tradition at this point
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize