Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
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