Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
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I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
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I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
if my 20s were a chapter in my autobiography, it would be called "the room is spinning and my hands smell like dick"
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