oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
Thanks for jumping on that grenade for me last night. You're the best wingman ever
She ate 7 of the 8 slices of pizza. I deserve a purple heart and sex w your sister
Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i wish my penis had a tongue
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
Just spent a extra 20 minutes on the phone with the lady from unemployment talking about how to make the best brownies.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
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