The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Standards are awful. It's like living in the zombie apocalypse. You can only have sex with certain people
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
A baby just tried to pull out his mom's huge tits at work today and nearly succeeded. I was silently cheering for the little guy.
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
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