What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
Omg. I definitely just got hit on by my doctor AFTER he completed my pap smear which clearly showed I was in the middle of an outbreak. What. The. Fuck.
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
Randomize