and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
I just wanna be some guy's midlife crisis
i think i just was awoken by the sound of my roommate choking on her boyfriend's dick
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
Just invented taco cereal.
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
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