we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
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