I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
Life is my bitch right now. The bouncers tried to carry me out of the club, but everyone thought I was crowd surfing so everyone carried me BACK IN. Winning as fuck.
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
I am convinced you could sleep through the apocalypse and only wake up because youre hungry & want Dominoes
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