I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
Thanks for the drunken voicemail of bird calls. Love and miss you, too.
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
Randomize