Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
I tried to pay my bar tab with my gym membership card. Twice.
It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I tried to call my phone from his phone and was like, "hey, my name is not in here..I thought you had my number" turns out he has my number saved as "gives good head"
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
Dude, you need to come and get her. She's sitting on the bathroom floor making hearts with her menstrual blood. And remind me never to let her do jello shots again
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
Randomize