You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
Randomize