she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
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