You don't have asthma, your pregnant
I was just curling my hair topless and I just burned my nipple. Ouch.
wat bout pragnant strippers??
Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
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