Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
Just realized the fur coat I am wearing to the wedding is the one I had sex with the groom in
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I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
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Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
I think I deserve an award for the breakup text I sent him. Like a pulitzer prize or a donut or something.
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
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