what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
We named our party play list daddy issues
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Anderson Cooper just came out.
Crying tears of glitter and rainbows right now. Gonna decorate my dildo like My Little Pony in his honor.
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
I'd like to be surprised that there's a picture of someone pouring champagne in my boobs on Instagram, but I can't.
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
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