i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
I called him a "Beautiful Bastard" with "Beautiful Bastard Hair". That is how you pick up a guy from Denmark.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
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