He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
operation have a gay friend backfired
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
Dude someone is playing the piano in the other room while I shit and it's making it really peaceful
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had a dream about a turtle sitting on top of a horse skull. I'm certain its a symbol for my dead sex life. Trust me.
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
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