i just got arrested. apparently dont move means dont move.
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
Randomize