I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
Honestly I was sitting in managerial accounting thinking "I really need to get my shit together and stop drinking so much wine." But when you asked I realized... it's wine. It's always a yes.
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
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