oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
woke up on my stairs with half a hot dog beside me and the last text I sent was "i make hot dog in toasTer" .
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
Binging muscle relaxers because when ur 33 you can no longer SHAKE IT LIKE A POLAROID PICTURE for 2hrs w/o consequences. Fuck you, Age.
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
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