3:12 am: but i thought i was coming over tonight, don't fall asleep i wore new underwear
Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
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