soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
i woke up to find out i shared my bed with a full, open can of natty light last night and didnt spill it. then i drank it for breakfast.
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
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But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
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she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
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