carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
just found $310, wrapped in a rubber band, at the bottom of my sock drawer with a note attached stating, "Make it rain".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just realized how many men I've had sex with for the first time in St. Patty's Day past. Currently sending "HAPPY SEXIVERSARY" texts...
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
He wore the same cologne as my orthodontist so all I could think about was how I hadn't worn my retainer in months
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
You're breaking my sexual little heart
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
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