omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
I was dreaming of a parallel reality and in the dream I just looked up at my present self and was like "you're high, man"
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
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