It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
Why do you need me to cover for work?
I wouldn't say NEED but lets just say I smell like guacamole and semen.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
Why does my car smell like burnt toast?
I take it you don't remember trying to make grilled cheese with your cigarette lighter...
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