I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
so..some girl walked up to me on the porch last night. She came to apologize for peeing on our lawn a few days ago. I just looked at her and said it was ok, she wasn't the first.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
Randomize