She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
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Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
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Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
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