so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We had to coat check the pizza.
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
wtf are you talking about? You vomit-splattered the cop from the balcony. The cop YOU called because you drunk-dialed 911 because a 5 year old ate the last donut.
it was a krispy kreme
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
Randomize