I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
Thanks for jumping on that grenade for me last night. You're the best wingman ever
She ate 7 of the 8 slices of pizza. I deserve a purple heart and sex w your sister
I woke up to a bunch of college seniors jacking off a horse in my face. Geuss who didnt move in time?
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
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i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
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He puked in the voicemail. That's a true friend right there.
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
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