He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
Shit. We're going to have to drink until they're cute
Hello cirrhosis
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
Randomize