she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After the 3rd time his brother walked in on us I asked "Does he ever knock?" his reply "This is his room"... Turns out he didn't even live there... I feel like a hoe.
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
I’m getting reeeeaaalll tired of telling cute boys I gave them chlamydia.
That’s two in three months. You really know how to live.
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm half Irish and half Russian. This is what I'm made for
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