That chick was all over your bacon last night, grinding on you, I thought you were going to bang her in the club
Dude it was a lap dance
I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
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