I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
you called me at 4 am to tell me you found the cracker barrel location where we'll have lunch next week
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
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