Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
There are 144 bottles of wine in my mother's pantry. She just shrugged her shoulders and said it was for the wine pong tournament on Christmas Day.
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
Can you come over?
Sex??
Sure but there’s also a squirrel in my garage I need you to take care of.
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
Randomize