ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
Nope. She just screamed at me "YOU WERE A FAILED ABORTION" and "I'LL PUT ANTHRAX IN YOUR PILLOW YOU LITTLE FUCK". Best mother award ever
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
Just gave a blow job while wearing a shirt that says 'world's coolest mom' idk how my conscience feels...
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
turns out putting a tie on my unicorn onesie didn't make it acceptable "formal wear" and I found salsa in my cup holder
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
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