She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
I left a care package of Jack Daniel's, pancake mix and porn in your apartment. Merry fucking Christmas.
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
Adulthood is punching a guy in the face when you find out he's trying to fuck you and he's married instead of fucking him regardless and believing anything he says
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
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