my tampon string is in my asshole... do you think i can get it out without anyone noticing?
i'd get off the bar first.
My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
i out mim tonsoeep
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