Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just picked up my phone and one shoe from the man mowing the lawn next to the ice rink. He found them in a tree.
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
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