I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
You are the jesus of drinking
The dick lei will go down in squad history
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
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