have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
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all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
You were doing bacon vodka shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce. You're officially fucking disgusting. I love you.
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
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