Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
Farmville is her only friend.
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
Randomize