She punched me in the face after i pulled it out and grabbed my cell phone. Ill be the one hiding in the bushes with one shoe.
He had one of those small greek statue penises
She got mad when I told her I'd bone her mom. She got MORE mad when her mom heard, and was flattered by it. Proud to say I attract MILFS.
i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
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