Firetruck pulls up, fireman jumps out n knocks on my door, asks "do you know where Johnny lives?"
Walked home this morning with my contacts in a shot glass.
First class.
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
Randomize